The Hangover

I wrote this in the middle of the night during one of my 'one eye open' feeds, and I realised how much having a newborn baby is exactly like having a really bad hangover.

So basically what happens is, after a huge night out, you roll in the door at 7am and you are a mess. You are exhausted, moody and have a thumping headache. You have a whole bunch of stuff you know you need to get done during the day, but you don't have to do it if you don't want to ..or.. YOU GET IT DONE and you know by the time 9pm comes around, you can jump into bed and sleep soundly for the next 12 hours. This is also known as the 'catch up sleep'.

Having a newborn baby is uncannily similar, except you don't get to be drunk.

You are still sleep deprived, you are bumbling around like a moron trying to find your phone and realise you've probably dropped it in the toilet at some stage. You probably smell terrible, like you would if you were dancing for 12 hours straight. There's vomit on you, except for once you know it's not yours. You haven't had a shower, and you probably look like this:

You are slurring your words from fatigue and you're too tired to cook and dream of eating something disgusting like McDonalds. 

Want to know what the biggest difference is? You don't get the solid sleep you would after your crazy night out. You just keep doing it. Over and over and over. Every. Single. Day.

Motherhood is bloody HARD and nothing can prepare you for it.

But then, you look into your little bubbas eyes and realise you want to be hungover for the rest of your life.

Cesarian Recovery

I feel like I missed the first three days Elijah was born. I honestly cannot remember ANYTHING. It actually really frustrates me, haha.

38 Weeks VS 8 Days Postpartum

I vaguely remember telling the nurses that pain killers have a huge effect on me, in fact even panadol makes me drowsy, and that I really didn't want to take any pain killers. I felt cheated, haha. They gave me really strong drugs through my IV for a few days (which is fair enough), and basically forced me to take Endone (yes, the same drug those two football players almost overdosed on).. and I can't remember a damn thing!

I went through my phone on the Saturday after Elijah was born and noticed I had sent a bunch of texts as well as spoken on the phone with a whole lot of people. I cannot recall any of this - so if I rang you or messaged you and sounded like I was out of my mind, it's because I was.

I'm going to try my hardest to tell my story, but there may be a few blanks!

Elijah was born on Thursday, and after he was born I was basically bed-ridden for the rest of the day and night.
After he was born, I was taken to recovery before I was allowed to go to my room. The midwife checked over me, and helped me try to breastfeed. Elijah wouldn't latch on, and I already felt like a bad Mother. PLEASE don't feel terrible if this happens to you, your baby is not starving, and they won't let you starve them!
We tried for a little while but had no luck. I can't remember exactly how long I was in recovery for, but eventually I was moved to my private room.

The first night you have a cesarian you are kept in a single bed. I felt guilty that my husband was on the floor next to me in what looked to be a very uncomfortable fold out bed, but having him on one side and Elijah in his bassinet on the other was really peaceful. The nurses came in to check Elijah and I every hour or so. I remember wiggling my toes a lot, and being annoyed that I had no underwear on. The catheter was extremely uncomfortable to sleep with and I remember thinking "how embarrassing that everyone can see my pee!". Ew! Mine and my husbands immediate family came to visit (no recollection at all), and Elijah still wasn't feeding. I will be doing another post on breastfeeding, but to keep it simple - because he wouldn't latch on, I had to express into a syringe to feed him. It was really painful, I couldn't do it myself and had the nurses help me express each time he was due to feed.

The next day you are told that you need to get up. It actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I remember being very excited to stand up, walk and have a shower. Maybe I was just excited because I COULD walk again and that the spinal didn't do any permanent damage. It's funny, it wasn't the pain of my incision that hurt, it was my head from all of the drugs. After the nurses removed my catheter and IV, I sat up on the side of the bed and dangled my feet over the edge. I had to sit there for what felt like half an hour. My head was spinning out of control. Eventually, I stood up straight and felt a little uncomfortable, but nothing unbearable. I took a few steps (holding onto my husband) and finally made it to my bathroom. I thought I was going to have the greatest shower ever, warm water with yummy smelling soap - heaven. Instead - I had to sit down immediately in my shower chair, have my husband undress me and wash me, and then almost faint from the steam. Worst. Shower. Ever. But it was great to put on underwear, and to feel clean and human again.

The first time you get up after a cesarian is definitely the hardest, but each time you get up again from that point - just gets easier and easier - trust me on this. You just have to do it! Stand up as straight as you possibly can, and own that pain!

On day 2 I was taken to a bigger room with a double bed and a beautiful view. I felt much more comfortable and much more at home. Elijah still wouldn't latch on and I continued to express into a syringe to feed him. Day 2 is still blurry. By day 3 I told the nurses ''NO MORE PAINKILLERS". So they stopped. I was down to just having Voltaren and Panadol 3 times a day, and that was enough for me.

I think one thing that's easily forgotten is that, if you had had a major surgery at any other time, you are able to rest and take care of yourself. Having a major surgery with a newborn baby to care for is not so easy. I had to have Elijah handed to me so I could hold him and nurse him, I could't use my ab muscles at all to lift myself up (the remote control hospital bed helped with that), but it was quite uncomfortable.

Men - avert your eyes, I'm not sure you want to read what I have to say next, unless you want to be grossed out. After all the pain medication and the stress on your body, it's really difficult to go to the toilet. Even laughing is painful, so the thought of any contraction of abdomen muscles (pushing, in particular) is terrifying. The hospital wouldn't let me go home without using the toilet. It was horrible. My only advice - DO NOT PUSH. And if you do, hold a rolled up towel against your wound and apply pressure. For me, this was the hardest, most difficult thing. Ask the nurses for a suppository and on your way home when you go to the chemist to pick up your script get some Coloxyl to help you use the bathroom. Make sure you grab a WHOLE bunch of maternity pads as well, some women can bleed for 6 weeks or more after birth (vaginal or not).

Day 4, I was up and about just fine. By the time we left the hospital I could walk quite well but tired easily. Each day I seemed to be able to do more and more, but sometimes I truly forget that I need to rest, so don't over do it. Rest, let people help you so you can recover.

You may find you is a "C-shelf". This is swelling (it may be hard) above your wound. Almost four weeks later, mine is still quite bad. But remember - it takes a while to heal from major surgery, so don't worry about it unless you think you have an infection. Wound care is quite simple. Once the steri-strips come off in the shower, go and grab yourself some MediSil. MediSil is a silicone perforated tape that plastic surgeons use to minimise scarring. It will come off each time you have a shower, but my scarring is already less noticiable than I assumed it would be.

The SRC Recovery shorts have been a God send. I couldn't fit them over my chubby thighs in the first week, but once I could squeeze them on (day 8), I could feel them working their magic. They are such a great support for your back and pelvis, and also do wonders for your stomach muscles and all that baby jelly!

It's now been almost four weeks since Elijah has been born and I almost feel like I'm back to myself. I am waiting to get the OK from my obstetrician at my 6 week appointment to start exercising (need to lose another 8kgs ASAP!), but cesarians aren't as horrific as some people say.. so don't get scared!