Things I Can't Live Without!

Okay so now Elijah is almost three months old, I'm sorry I have been slack on updating my blog but to be honest I'm lucky to even have a shower some days so...priorities, haha.

So since becoming a mother I've realised there are things I use A LOT and things I purchased that I don't use at all. I won't get into the things that I don't use because I'm sure husband will read this and get upset at all they money I've spent BUT I WILL talk about the things I constantly use.

SO.

1. The Angelcare Baby Monitor. I use the monitor with the movement pads you place beneath the mattress (if you have this and it beeps all the time you're probably unaware the pads need to be placed on a wooden plank for stability). This monitor notifies you if your baby stops breathing for longer than 10 seconds, and then an alarm will sound at 15 seconds. It's only gone off once during the night and husband and I have never moved so quickly in all our lives. I'm so grateful to know that it works.

2. Detol hand sanitiser. There are bottles spread everywhere throughout our home, and a like, 5 kilo tub next to the change table for when a stray bit of poo or wee splashes on you. I am now a sanitising freak.

3. Disposable Bed Protectors: http://store.independenceaustralia.com/continence-aids-76dc611d6ebaafc66cc0879c71b5db5c/bedding-protection/cello-bed-protector-bluey-40cmx60cm.html
So basically, I am surprised at how much wee and poo gets in places it shouldn't be, and how often your little one can't hold on while you're trying to get another nappy on to them. You can just throw them out when they get dirty, rather than washing your change table cover every time it gets dirty every second day! (Not eco friendly though, sorry!)

4. Gaia Skin Soothing Lotion. Elijah had the worst skin at about 6-7 weeks, it was so dry and red, and looked incredibly painful. We went to the doctors and were told it was a mixture of hormones leaving the body from birth and eczema. It didn't seem to bother him very much, but it just looked so painful. I tried EVERYTHING. QV lotion, olive oil, vaseline, breast milk - nothing was working. Also QV lotion smells like vomit. I put the Gaia lotion on ONCE overnight and the next day his skin was completely clear. Unbelievable.

5. My Avent Electric Pump. No one actually warns you how ridiculous breastfeeding is, and that it takes weeks for your boobs to get some sort of normal routine. And even when you finally get a routine, your baby might sleep a few hours longer, or sleep through the night and all of a sudden it's 5am and you've got two hot air balloon sized boobs and you need that milk OUT but your baby is still sleeping and you don't want to wake them up because YAY SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT! I mean really, it's good for a lot of other things too. Pumping if you've had a drink, pumping for comfort, pumping for a babysitter, pumping if you're out and about for a weekend without your baby. I genuinely love my pump.

6.  My Avent Steriliser. As I said before - sterilising is life. The last thing you want is to give your baby something that's disgustingly dirty and covered in germs and bacteria. Especially bottles and teats. A little bit of germs is okay to build an immune system, but a bottle that hasn't been cleaned properly and has three day old milk residue with bacteria building could cause some serious problems for your little bubba.

7.  Dummies. I am PRO DUMMY AND I LOVE IT. I don't use it as a silencer, but rather as a soother. It works for us, Elijah loves it and that's all I care about when he's unsettled.

8.  A great nappy bag with loads of room. I purchased an Oroton nappy bag and it's pretty great. It's nylon so it can be washed easily. It has three separate compartments plus a few zip pockets on the outside, as well as a padded changing mat and zip up bags inside for little bits and bobs. It's not too big or too small, and also very classy!

9. My 4Moms Electric Rocker. This thing was damn expensive, and we probably could have got something similar for less than half the price, but it really looks great compared to the big ugly rockers you see in all the stores. This baby has saved my life, especially when Elijah is having a 'don't you dare think you can put me down' day. It keeps him rocking and strapped in while I can have a shower and eat, the small things I will never take advantage of again.

10. The Boori Bassinet. To be honest, we have't even used Elijah's cot yet. He sleeps in his bassinet next to our bed (as recommended by the SIDS website). It's on wheels so I can rock him to sleep if he's super unsettled, it's small and when he wakes up during the night I don't have to totally wake up by walking into another room, it's more of a 'throw an arm over the bed' situation.

11.  Zip up swaddles. No annoying midnight wrapping, and great for babies who like their arms up. They also come with zips along the shoulders for babies who have started rolling over.

12. The Angelcare Nappy Bin. The cartridges are expensive ($50-$60 for 4), but so much better than smelling poo in your house all the time.

13. Bonds Wondersuits. Not so much anymore, but for the first 6 weeks these things were all I could manage in my zombie state. Honestly, I think I have 300 of them.

I'm sure the list of things I can't live without will change as Elijah grows and his needs change, but for super newborns, these things honestly made life so much easier, so I hope I am passing some helpful information to you!

Breast Feeding

Hello friends, it's been a while because, you know - baby.

Let's chat about breastfeeding shall we?

I actually laugh at how much my whole life revolves around feeding Elijah. Getting ready to go out literally takes half the day because I can only do things in between his three hourly (sometimes two) feeds.

Generally, he feeds every 3 hours (except between 8pm-1.30am, he might sleep a few hours). If I have somewhere to be in the morning, I have to time it with his morning feed. If I have to be somewhere for lunch, I have to feed him before I leave so he doesn't get crazy when we are out and about.

I remember wondering why people with children were always running late - now I am one, and I am definitely always running late and I finally understand. #sorrynotsorry

On top of that life changing fact, I also actually never realised how much effort goes into breast feeding.

I was surprised and thought, what do you mean it's not as simple as putting a baby on your boob and him drinking away?

Breastfeeding is honestly so much harder than I ever imagined it could be.

For the first three or four days, I had no luck with breastfeeding at all. I basically had to express into a syringe so I could feed Elijah. It was so painful and I was so out of it that the midwives had to milk me like a cow! My dignity was out the window by that point anyway, so it didn't really bother me.

A newborn baby's stomach is about the size of a marble, they don't need much to fill up, but it's very important to get something in there as soon as possible. Generally once you give birth, the nurses will try to attach your baby to your boob straight away with some skin to skin contact to begin the bond.
Because your milk doesn't come into your breasts until 4-5 days after you give birth, to begin with - you produce something called colostrum.
Colostrum is like milk, but there isn't a lot of it and it's sort of a weird clearish yellow colour. It doesn't last for very long but it's ridiculously powerful and full of nutrients, antibodies and immunoglobulins (which protects your little bubba from bacteria and viruses).

So next is learning to breast feed! It isn't easy. In fact, there's quite a technique to it. My advice, ask your midwives and nurses to help you as much as possible. Even if you want to ask them every single time if you are doing it right - just ask them. Or even take a breastfeeding class.

This is my technique, but it's better for you to do your own homework as it may not work for you.

First of all, sit up and get comfortable. You want to be sitting up straight or on a 45 degree angle, not hunching over.
Hold your baby along your arm, with their stomach against your stomach and your hand holding at the back of the neck (definitely not the head, just the base of the head/neck under the ears).
Bring your baby to your breast.
Rub your babies bottom lip along your nipple.
If you find the mouth isn't opening, try to express a little and rub again - to get the baby interested.
Once the mouth opens, pull back the head slightly, lift up and push down onto nipple/areola.
Make sure your baby's bottom lip is open (sort of like a fish?) and against most of the bottom of the areola (not just your nipple) and the top of the mouth is covering some of the areola.
You should feel like a bite/suckling and instant let down. Please remember the bite feeling should only last at the beginning and once the suckling is happening and the milk is flowing, it shouldn't be painful at all.
You will be able to hear your baby drinking, if the latch isn't correct you may hear clicking, or air getting in and being swallowed. If this is the case, slip your finger into the side of your babies mouth, it should pop to release the suction and try again.

It's really, really hard to get a hang of it. (for me it was anyway)

For the first week and a half, my boobs were bruised, chapped and bleeding. Elijah wouldn't latch on correctly in the beginning, and because he fed so often it didn't give my boobs a chance to heal. I would actually express a little, and rub it on the chapped areas to help healing. I remember my body would tense up in pain every time he fed, it was excruciating. Over time, once I learnt the correct technique and he understood what he needed to do - the pain stopped.

You might begin to question when your milk may actually come in, and wonder if it has or hasn't. Trust me, you will know when it comes. I felt like I was going to EXPLODE. That, and your hormones go crazy. You are super thirsty, boiling hot and I found I was sweating through my clothes twice a night. This also settled down after a few weeks.

I am very lucky to produce A LOT of milk, and I can only speak from experience as some women are not so lucky, but I definitely produce much more than the little guy needs.
To put things into perspective, Elijah is one of the youngest babies in my mothers group, but is by far one of the biggest. He is so chubby and cute, and he is absolutely thriving.

The problem with producing too much milk is the risk of becoming engorged and developing mastitis.

I thought a way to prevent this was by pumping some breastmilk, but little did I know that the more you pump, the more you produce.

If you are worried about becoming engorged, it should settle down on it's own within the first few weeks. If it doesn't (which mine hasn't), you just have to work it out. Feed one side at a time and make sure the breast is completely empty before putting your baby on the other side. Be very careful with engorgement. It's painful, but it's the first sign that you may be close to developing mastitis. I will do another post on mastitis and engorgement later.

The next thing you need to remember is, if your baby is breastfeeding only - if you ever want to have a life or some time to yourself, get a pump.

How much your baby drinks will depend on how old they are, but for an example - Elijah drinks around 150mls-200mls in one feeding when I have expressed and someone else has fed him by the bottle. As the weeks go on, he will drink more. This is something you should confirm with your midwife/health nurse.

In relation to storage, to make things simple (taken from breastfeeding.asn.au)

I purchased the Avent Electric Breast Pump and it's been amazing. It's also really nice for my husband, it gives him a chance to feed Elijah and bond with him. Remember, if you are using a pump - you must sterilise everything. I hand wash and then sterilise all of my equipment before and after I use it. (including bottles, teats, lids and dummies).

This weekend I am going out on Saturday AND on Sunday (shocking!) and my Mum is coming over to babysit. Would you believe I started expressing and freezing breastmilk A WHOLE MONTH AGO to prepare for this weekend?? I'll also be taking my breast pump in my handbag, try to imagine me sitting in the bathroom a few times in those two days expressing and pouring the milk down the toilet - because that's what I'll be doing.

Long gone are the days of just getting dressed and walking out the door. Welcome to your new life!

The Hangover

I wrote this in the middle of the night during one of my 'one eye open' feeds, and I realised how much having a newborn baby is exactly like having a really bad hangover.

So basically what happens is, after a huge night out, you roll in the door at 7am and you are a mess. You are exhausted, moody and have a thumping headache. You have a whole bunch of stuff you know you need to get done during the day, but you don't have to do it if you don't want to ..or.. YOU GET IT DONE and you know by the time 9pm comes around, you can jump into bed and sleep soundly for the next 12 hours. This is also known as the 'catch up sleep'.

Having a newborn baby is uncannily similar, except you don't get to be drunk.

You are still sleep deprived, you are bumbling around like a moron trying to find your phone and realise you've probably dropped it in the toilet at some stage. You probably smell terrible, like you would if you were dancing for 12 hours straight. There's vomit on you, except for once you know it's not yours. You haven't had a shower, and you probably look like this:

You are slurring your words from fatigue and you're too tired to cook and dream of eating something disgusting like McDonalds. 

Want to know what the biggest difference is? You don't get the solid sleep you would after your crazy night out. You just keep doing it. Over and over and over. Every. Single. Day.

Motherhood is bloody HARD and nothing can prepare you for it.

But then, you look into your little bubbas eyes and realise you want to be hungover for the rest of your life.

Cesarian Recovery

I feel like I missed the first three days Elijah was born. I honestly cannot remember ANYTHING. It actually really frustrates me, haha.

38 Weeks VS 8 Days Postpartum

I vaguely remember telling the nurses that pain killers have a huge effect on me, in fact even panadol makes me drowsy, and that I really didn't want to take any pain killers. I felt cheated, haha. They gave me really strong drugs through my IV for a few days (which is fair enough), and basically forced me to take Endone (yes, the same drug those two football players almost overdosed on).. and I can't remember a damn thing!

I went through my phone on the Saturday after Elijah was born and noticed I had sent a bunch of texts as well as spoken on the phone with a whole lot of people. I cannot recall any of this - so if I rang you or messaged you and sounded like I was out of my mind, it's because I was.

I'm going to try my hardest to tell my story, but there may be a few blanks!

Elijah was born on Thursday, and after he was born I was basically bed-ridden for the rest of the day and night.
After he was born, I was taken to recovery before I was allowed to go to my room. The midwife checked over me, and helped me try to breastfeed. Elijah wouldn't latch on, and I already felt like a bad Mother. PLEASE don't feel terrible if this happens to you, your baby is not starving, and they won't let you starve them!
We tried for a little while but had no luck. I can't remember exactly how long I was in recovery for, but eventually I was moved to my private room.

The first night you have a cesarian you are kept in a single bed. I felt guilty that my husband was on the floor next to me in what looked to be a very uncomfortable fold out bed, but having him on one side and Elijah in his bassinet on the other was really peaceful. The nurses came in to check Elijah and I every hour or so. I remember wiggling my toes a lot, and being annoyed that I had no underwear on. The catheter was extremely uncomfortable to sleep with and I remember thinking "how embarrassing that everyone can see my pee!". Ew! Mine and my husbands immediate family came to visit (no recollection at all), and Elijah still wasn't feeding. I will be doing another post on breastfeeding, but to keep it simple - because he wouldn't latch on, I had to express into a syringe to feed him. It was really painful, I couldn't do it myself and had the nurses help me express each time he was due to feed.

The next day you are told that you need to get up. It actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I remember being very excited to stand up, walk and have a shower. Maybe I was just excited because I COULD walk again and that the spinal didn't do any permanent damage. It's funny, it wasn't the pain of my incision that hurt, it was my head from all of the drugs. After the nurses removed my catheter and IV, I sat up on the side of the bed and dangled my feet over the edge. I had to sit there for what felt like half an hour. My head was spinning out of control. Eventually, I stood up straight and felt a little uncomfortable, but nothing unbearable. I took a few steps (holding onto my husband) and finally made it to my bathroom. I thought I was going to have the greatest shower ever, warm water with yummy smelling soap - heaven. Instead - I had to sit down immediately in my shower chair, have my husband undress me and wash me, and then almost faint from the steam. Worst. Shower. Ever. But it was great to put on underwear, and to feel clean and human again.

The first time you get up after a cesarian is definitely the hardest, but each time you get up again from that point - just gets easier and easier - trust me on this. You just have to do it! Stand up as straight as you possibly can, and own that pain!

On day 2 I was taken to a bigger room with a double bed and a beautiful view. I felt much more comfortable and much more at home. Elijah still wouldn't latch on and I continued to express into a syringe to feed him. Day 2 is still blurry. By day 3 I told the nurses ''NO MORE PAINKILLERS". So they stopped. I was down to just having Voltaren and Panadol 3 times a day, and that was enough for me.

I think one thing that's easily forgotten is that, if you had had a major surgery at any other time, you are able to rest and take care of yourself. Having a major surgery with a newborn baby to care for is not so easy. I had to have Elijah handed to me so I could hold him and nurse him, I could't use my ab muscles at all to lift myself up (the remote control hospital bed helped with that), but it was quite uncomfortable.

Men - avert your eyes, I'm not sure you want to read what I have to say next, unless you want to be grossed out. After all the pain medication and the stress on your body, it's really difficult to go to the toilet. Even laughing is painful, so the thought of any contraction of abdomen muscles (pushing, in particular) is terrifying. The hospital wouldn't let me go home without using the toilet. It was horrible. My only advice - DO NOT PUSH. And if you do, hold a rolled up towel against your wound and apply pressure. For me, this was the hardest, most difficult thing. Ask the nurses for a suppository and on your way home when you go to the chemist to pick up your script get some Coloxyl to help you use the bathroom. Make sure you grab a WHOLE bunch of maternity pads as well, some women can bleed for 6 weeks or more after birth (vaginal or not).

Day 4, I was up and about just fine. By the time we left the hospital I could walk quite well but tired easily. Each day I seemed to be able to do more and more, but sometimes I truly forget that I need to rest, so don't over do it. Rest, let people help you so you can recover.

You may find you is a "C-shelf". This is swelling (it may be hard) above your wound. Almost four weeks later, mine is still quite bad. But remember - it takes a while to heal from major surgery, so don't worry about it unless you think you have an infection. Wound care is quite simple. Once the steri-strips come off in the shower, go and grab yourself some MediSil. MediSil is a silicone perforated tape that plastic surgeons use to minimise scarring. It will come off each time you have a shower, but my scarring is already less noticiable than I assumed it would be.

The SRC Recovery shorts have been a God send. I couldn't fit them over my chubby thighs in the first week, but once I could squeeze them on (day 8), I could feel them working their magic. They are such a great support for your back and pelvis, and also do wonders for your stomach muscles and all that baby jelly!

It's now been almost four weeks since Elijah has been born and I almost feel like I'm back to myself. I am waiting to get the OK from my obstetrician at my 6 week appointment to start exercising (need to lose another 8kgs ASAP!), but cesarians aren't as horrific as some people say.. so don't get scared!

My Birth Story

One word - FINALLY!

So we tried our absolute hardest to keep the little man cooking for as long as possible, but in the end - the pain became too much for me. He was lying in a transverse position, which basically means rather than being engaged and head down, he was lying across my abdomen. This was the reason for all of my rib pain, abdomen pain and muscle tearing. 

At our few last obstetrician appointments we had to make the call on definitely having a caesarian and booking a date in. We originally had the 14th of September booked in, but at our very last appointment I just couldn't take the pain any more, so we moved his birthday to the 10th! I am so glad I chose to have him through private health care, if I hadn't have, I definitely wouldn't have been given the option to make my own decision on when he would be born.

So!

NIGHT OF THE 9TH:

I was obviously anxious, maybe it was the look on my face or the fact that I was stuttering and fumbling around like a fool.. our ob suggested going out on a dinner date - which sounded really nice considering I hadn't been out of the house for a very long time. We booked a restaurant at Crown and headed out for our last meal as non-parents! Food was expensive and delish, but completely wasted on me. I of course could barely eat.. my stomach was full from butterflies. After dinner we headed to the casino and tables, I'm not much for gambling but this story is wayyyy too cute not to share. So here I am with husband at the roulette table. I always put my money on my lucky number 23 so as I place my bet, my husband says - I'm going to put $5 on number 10 (for the birth date obviously!) and BAM! The little white ball lands on number 10... a one in 30 something chance? WINNER! If that isn't a great omen, then I don't know what is!!! We had a little chuckle and a celebration, left and eventually we got home and you guessed it, I didn't sleep a wink. How could I? I was about to meet our son in just a few hours!!!

MORNING OF THE 10TH:

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! It's here!!! I looked like I had been hit by a truck but I was READY!

We were told to be at the hospital at 6am, and got there at 5.50am (thanks anxiety) - we were 'welcomed' at the day procedure desk by a lady who rudely told me that 'no one gets booked in this early come back in half an hour or take a seat'. I was so on edge already, I swear I looked like a cartoon character with steam coming out of my ears. My husband grabbed my waist to direct me to the chairs, I stopped and imagined myself jumping over the desk and strangling her to death, but instead, I politely smiled and took a seat.

At around 7.30am, the nurse came to get us and take us into an admission room. She sat us down and went through some questions and we got into our gowns/scrubs. I was nervously laughing and chatting, not really listening to anything anyone was saying and not really knowing what I was saying myself. For all I know she could have told me I was there for a boob job and I wouldn't have even known.

I was then taken into the very bright and cold theatre room to meet my crew and have the spinal done, this is something they do without your birth partner (which is stupid because it's definitely the most scary part!!!). My brain was in overdrive and I couldn't stop shaking. I had three or four people holding me down to try and keep me still, I was given an IV drip in my arm which distracted me from the huge steel rod I imagined was being inserted into my spine. It took a couple of minutes to kick in, and made me feel warm, like I had peed my pants. So awkward. 

Finally my husband arrived in the room and sat behind my head. He was so wonderful throughout the whole experience, he continued to caress my hair, speak gently into my ear and distract me, although I have no idea what he said.

I don't know why I was trying to look, but I couldn't see past the big blue sheet in front of my face, and I definitely couldn't feel any pain - but the most bizarre thing was being able to feel all the tugging and pulling. For example, just poke yourself in the leg - it doesn't hurt but you know you are being touched.

A couple of minutes passed and I vaguely recall my obstetrician saying 'you're a few minutes away fro meeting your baby!'. I was just so excited and overwhelmed. (I was also a little dazed by the drugs and adrenalin). I felt like it all happened so quickly, I could feel my eyes darting around, I was trying to wiggle my toes to make sure my spine wasn't permanently damaged (seriously wtf is wrong with me?)..

A couple of minutes later I heard a big, beautiful scream - and I began to cry. Actually, it was more like sobbing, that sort of cry that gets you really down low in your chest, like you can't breathe. I was a blubbering mess. I could hear my husband, but I don't remember what he was saying. We were both in awe. They held my son next to me and I fell in love the second I laid eyes on him. He was born with the most beautiful olive skin (thanks husband), a cute little button nose and a mohawk (I knew my son would always be a little punk like me). They quickly whisked him away to do some tests and give him his shots, I lay there trying to move and see him but obviously couldn't. The tugging continued while my obstetrician took out the placenta and stitched me up. He was then brought back to my chest and I lay there holding him, staring endlessly, while my husband held both of us. It was the single greatest moment of my life. The enormity of the situation hit me like a bulldozer. I had created a human life, I had created this little person with my perfect, handsome, loving, amazing husband and I had never, ever been so proud or in love.

I didn't want it to end.

The staff at Epworth Freemasons were absolutely incredible, and made it the most warm and magical experience. 

Thus, Elijah Alexander Richardson was born, and our lives instantly changed forever.

Birth Stories From Fellow Mumma Bears

When I first fell pregnant, I was so excited but so nervous at the same time. I got in contact with people who I knew had recently had children and was dying to hear all about their pregnancies and their labours. Needless to say, every story made my cry with happiness for each of them and their families.

Here are a few birth stories from my fellow Mumma bears, and how their experiences where.

My birth story - by Kathleen

On Wednesday 14th of May 2014 I was out for lunch with my best friend and started to get low dull back pain, we joked that it was early labour, at that point in my pregnancy my body always hurt so didn't take to much notice of it.

At 7:40pm that night I lost what I thought was my mucus plug. I was so happy as it means that labour is close by, straight away I got on Google and searched "mucus plug" images and "how long after you lose your mucus plug do you go into labour", let's just say I was keen to get this baby out.

From 9pm that night my back pain felt worse and would come along with my uterus contracting at the same time and slight pelvic pain. I was in bed at the time with my partner who was also super keen to meet our baby. He had work the next day in the city and kept asking me "should I go to work?", I told him to go to work and that I'd call him if/when I go to hospital as early labour can last ages and I wanted to stay at home as long as possible.

My partner left for work at 6am that morning and within 1 hour things got much worse. I knew something was up, so I called the hospital to advise them I would be coming in once the pain is unbearable and the contractions are regular. 30 minutes later they became unbearable and I lost a lot of blood when I went to the toilet, I freaked out and called them back due to losing blood and they told me to come in straight away. I was living with my parents at that time so my Mum and I went to the hospital together and we called my partner and his Mum to meet us there (they were the 3 I wanted in the room when I give birth).

When I got to the hospital I advised the midwife of 2 things... 1. That I have epilepsy and my doctor has organised I have an epidural and 2. That my Mum had really short labours for ALL of her children (within 2 hours). The midwife finally gave me an internal examination quoting "now it's still early so I doubt you will be dilated" well guess what! 5cm in 3 hours. By that point I was a mess and started to shake uncontrollably (we think from pain and anxiety) so they gave me the epidural straight away. Not long after they checked to see how dilated I was and I was now 9.5cm.

They broke my waters for me but wanted me to wait 1 hour before I started pushing. After pushing for 3 hours they realised not all had been broken! I was so angry as it felt like the last 3 hours of pushing was for nothing. They then realised that bubs had turned his head to the ceiling and I was not progressing so I would be going to theatre in 30 minutes to see if they could turn him, if not I would have a c section.

30 minutes passed and they told me there was now a delay in getting me into theatre. By that point bubs heart rate was high so they needed to try turn him then and there. With one quick twist I was told "You will have a baby in your arms within the next 3 contractions! Congratulations in advance", from that point it was game on, I pushed as hard as my body would allow me. Due to his high heart rate I needed to have a small cut made as well as forceps, but he was out within a matter of minutes crying in my arms!!!! :):):).

Oh, and he was born on his due date! 15/05/14 at 7:37pm and 7.7 pounds (was told by 2 separate ultrasounds he would be 9 pounds).

My birth story - by Mylee

On the morning of Friday 22nd August 2015 my partner and I made our way to the hospital to be induced with our first baby. Exactly one week before the due date as my blood pressure was alarmingly high despite being textbook perfect all the way through pregnancy.  

At approximately 8.30am I was induced. Then came the waiting game. 6 hours went by and I felt no progress. The midwife checked me and established that the first application of the gel had no affect and hadn't softened my cervix so another application was under-way. 
A drip was inserted to bring on the contractions which started pretty quickly. Once they started, I said to my partner that they feel almost like your normal period pain. I thought to myself, "Okay, I can do this!". 
Slowly they got stronger, more uncomfortable but not too painful later that afternoon. Again thinking to myself "Yep. This is okay, I can get through this"... boy was I wrong! By around 8pm that evening they were quite strong. The midwife checked me again and I had only dilated 1cm. One lousy cm!!! I still had 9cm to go and I'd been doing this for 12 hours already? We were in for a long night! 

At 11pm the anaesthesiologist poked his head in and asked if I had intended to have the epidural which that was my initial plan but at that moment, hell yes I wanted that epidural! Even though I hadn't dilated the required cm's for an epidural he gave it to me anyway as he was finishing his shift and if I needed in the middle of the night there'd be no one to do it. It absolutely terrified me to have that gigantic needle jabbed into my spine but you know what? I never felt it! I was so unbelievably focused on not moving whilst having a contraction that I never felt the needle. How peaceful I felt afterwards though. Wow! No pain! So my partner curled up on the couch to get some sleep which was something I was not able to do since every hour they were checking my blood pressure and in between that, the IV machine would start beeping for the midwife to reset the epidural dosage so every half hour someone was doing something around me. I think I slept in 10 minute groups. 

At 1am I felt my waters break. I thought to myself "Awesome! That means its all happening now right?".... wrong! The midwife checked again, only 2cm dilated! So I rested as much as possible. 

The next morning, still no real progress. I think I had only dilated to 3cm by that stage. I had antibiotics jabbed into me to stop any infections as my waters broke so long ago. The epidural medicine started to really kick in. I remember all of a sudden, I had the urge to vomit, only I had nothing to vomit in!!! Off races my partner to get a nurse, in the meantime I couldn't wait. Projectile vomit everywhere! From that point on, any food or liquid would not stay down. I ended up having to have an anti nausea injection to stop the vomiting!  

By around 2pm, I started feeling the contractions again! "What the hell is going on! This ain't right!". Upon inspection, the epidural tube popped out of its place so it was re-positioned and the dosage increased which made me more sick. Another anti nausea jab later and it has no effect! Wonderful! The re-positioned epidural had no affect. I could feel everything! I was in full contraction mode by that stage with 30sec rest between each contraction as the dosage was up so high. So out comes the old epidural and a new one was inserted. By this stage it was around 6pm. The new epidural only numbed half of me. Numb down either side of my body. Nothing in between so I felt everything! I was in full active labour! "Holy crap! How on earth am I going to be able to do this!". The nurses checked me again and established that my cervix wasn't opening and I'd only dilated 4cm! On top of that, bub flipped around so her spine was on mine. Never had I experienced such horrific pain in my life! It literally felt like my hips, pelvis and back was being smashed to pieces. I had no pain killers. Just the gas, which by the way really does nothing to take the edge off.  
By approximately 9pm I had full excruciating contractions as well as vomiting. I also had the urge to push even though I hadn't dilated anywhere near 10cm. I was checked again and luckily I had jumped up a few cm to 7cm. "Ok, getting there!". Just before 10pm I was checked again upon being in an incredible amount of pain and it was discovered that bubs head is in fact stuck as well as my cervix not opening fast enough. They gave me two options. 
Midwife: "you can keep going for the next 4 to 5 hours, or you can opt for a...." she didn't even finish the sentence! I remember cutting her off screaming at her "C-SECTION!!!!! JUST CUT HER OUT NOW!!!!!!".... Off to surgery we go with me trying to sit statue like for the spinal-tap whilst contacting, pushing and vomiting all at the same time. Once the spinal-tap was done, it was an instant wave of peace like I've never experienced! It was heavenly! So they went to work on getting her out.

Boy was she well and truly stuck! It took the surgeons an hour to get her out. Even using forceps. But finally she was out. Her poor little head was slightly flat in the front and her neck was slightly jarred being stuck in the one spot for so long but over the coming weeks it straightened itself out. The next few days was a painful recovery process but the pain was nothing compared to what I had just been through. I was up and hobbling around the next day. Anyone who says the recovery process is worse than giving natural birth is correct but it does not stop you from doing what you need to do. You are running on adrenaline by that stage so you just get through it. Panadol and ibeprofin become your best friend for the next 7 days but it's all manageable. After being through both active labour and C-section and recovery, I can honestly say I will be going for C-Section for my next baby. Less stress and exhaustion on me, less stress and exhaustion on the baby.

Above all, no matter which way you go, the prize of your baby arriving safely is the ultimate gift anyone can ever imagine. You don't know what love is until you meet your baby for the first time. Its a feeling nothing can ever compete with.

My birth story - by Hayley

On Thursday, my dog got sick first then my contractions started (so, watch your dogs as they will know when something is up!)

My dog started to throw up around once an hour and then I started to have contractions - this happened for 12 hours then my contractions slowed down and completely stopped. My contractions were steady and weren't getting big enough for active labour, it was borderline. That was on Friday, then Saturday I baked a cake, then Sunday I scrapped booked our wedding pictures and cards! 

Hubby came home from work on a dinner break around 6.30pm and I was crappy, but that was normal. Then I started to feel like I had to use the bathroom, but hardly anything came out. I started to feel crappy again because on Friday I wasn't sure if it was real labour, and I wanted to be sure before I called the doctor, so when Mum was trying to time the contractions, at one stage I was holding onto the door frame in pain - I thought this has definitely has to be it.

We drove 15 minutes to the hospital, and let me tell you, during a contraction you want to be up and moving, not sitting in a car - so that totally sucked.

We walked into the hospital to the baby admission desk. They were expecting me, as my doctor was already there waiting as she had told me to come in and that they would check me. At this stage there was no checking was required, it was clear to them all that I was in labour.

As soon as I saw a nurse I told her I wanted an epidural.

I then begin walking up and down the walkway with Casey (husband), who was chasing me with a plastic cup with a straw while I'm repeatedly saying, "I can't do this... What were we thinking... I'm never doing this again" - those three phrases on repeat. Every time I saw the nurse I kept on saying ''give me an epidural!'' Then, somehow, I stayed still enough for them to check me and take blood. They then moved me into a labour and delivery room. I tried a hot shower but the water wasn't even warm... Then I found the best thing ever - THE YOGA BALL - yes! During a contraction bounce around on that thing, it really helps. 

I really wasn't a good patient at this stage, the doctor came in to do the epidural and he had to explain all the risks that can happen if he happens to hit the wrong spot - might I add, during him talking to me I'm having contractions every three minutes - so he'd say to me "I'll let you work through that one", and would turn his back, then once it was over, he would go back to what he was saying. So when it came time for them to do the epidural, they bring the bedside table over for me to hunch my back over. I tell my hubby to hold me down no matter what I do, and of course they had to time putting the needle in between contractions.

So, I had the epidural, which had a button that I could press to top it up every ten minutes. I called it my happy button because once it kicked in I would get all happy and we would start to joke with my nurse Lisa. Keep in mind the nurses can't leave you once you have had an epidural so we then started to try and guess the gender of the baby and when the baby will finally come.

To put a timeline on things, it all started around 7.30pm, got to hospital at 9pm and got the epidural at 11pm. I didn't need the particular drug that helps you keep in labour (an epidural may slow down your labour) but I was fine - generally as a rule they say 1cm dilation an hour.

At this stage my husband began getting tired, there was no coffee at the hospital so he did a run to the local 24hr coffee shop to get a coffee and some donuts for him and the nurses. After that, it was the waiting game. While having an epidural, you can still feel the muscle contracting but not the pain that goes with it.

So 4am rolls in and the doctors tell me it's time to push!

They say generally most people push for an hour, well I was looking at the clock and everyone's estimated time for delivery had passed. I'm an hour in and still pushing… another 54 mins later and then my doctor says "Hayley, here's your baby!” though later, my husband informed me I bent forwards and pulled the rest of baby out of me! She was placed straight onto my chest for a minute, but she didn't do a 'big cry’, which is what the doctors and nurses like to hear once a baby is born.

The hospital have a team for the baby and a team for the mom, so the baby team took baby to the side and was checking her over to make sure everything was okay. I would have to say, that was the most terrifying 2 minutes of my life. My doctor is saying "the baby is fine, it's breathing", and baby nurse is saying "she should of done a big cry" etc.. So I'm telling hubby to get over there and check everything and but he came back saying there were too many people around to see and check. At this point I still didn't know the gender, neither of us did!

So they brought baby back to me, I held baby and baby is getting looked at and still no one had told me the sex, so I can hear myself saying "can someone tell me what it is please!!!".. And then finally they tell me "it's a girl!" ..they gave her back to me and she snuggled on my chest for the next forever.

Can I just say ladies - each of these stories made me cry with happiness for all of you. I just cannot wait to experience this - and VERY soon I will. Thank you again for sharing your beautiful stories with me, and every one else who reads my blog. xo

Tips For Birth Partners!

Hi birth partner!

So let's be real, unless you are the most chilled out person in the world, you're probably going to experience a myriad of emotions for most of the labour. It's not nice seeing someone you love in so much pain. It's also very nerve-racking as you don't really know what to expect, no matter how many books you read or classes you went to, I'm not entirely sure you can ever really be ready. Neither of you probably will be, especially if this is your first baby.

Here's the top tips for being a great birth partner:

Support, support, support.

If your partner has a birth plan, discuss it much earlier on so you both know what it is. Talk to your partner before the labour so you know exactly what to say when the nurses and doctors ask, especially if she can't answer for herself. Be ready to take charge. When your partner is going through something like this, she may be very overwhelmed and may not be able to make the harder decisions without your help.

Be aware and be present. Don't sit on your phone scrolling through Facebook and offer to show her the funny video you just watched about cats. Keep an eye on her body language and watch her for signals. It's very reassuring to have someone calm with you when you are going through something unpleasant, so if you see a contraction happening or you see her begin to get anxious and fearful, help her to calm down in whatever way she needs.

Learn to time contractions. There's a bunch of apps you can download, or alternatively you can use the stopwatch on your mobile and make notes. What you need to remember is:
When did the contractions start
How far apart are the contractions
How long does each one last

Care for yourself. No one wants to ask ''where's (your name)'' and see you passed out on the floor because you have forgotten to eat or drink anything for hours. Make sure you are on top of your needs. There will be a lot of waiting, so in between, make sure you grab something to eat and drink, or bring it with you from home so you can access it easily without having to go anywhere. Get some fresh air if you need it, go for a walk. A good birth partner is a relaxed birth partner.

Keep calm. Be prepared to experience some really full on stuff. Not all birth stories are horror stories, and we always hope for an easy, beautiful labour. But be prepared there may be blood, screaming, pain, tears, frustration and even aggression. If you feel like you need a second to regain composure, go outside, take some deep breaths or go for a walk. After the labour, be prepared that you are about to meet your little person for the first time and you will probably feel a lot of emotions you've never felt before. It will be a complete rollercoaster ride!

Don't take anything personally. If your partner flips out - it's got nothing to do with you, it's completely situation. She won't even remember saying anything, so neither should you. She may want you to massage her lower back for one second, then scream and you to stop, then scream at you for stopping. There's no right or wrong, just attend to her every need. If there's any time for your partner to be a complete psycho, this is it. And if there's any time for you to deal with it with a smile on your face, this is definitely it.

Don't forget the bags!
You may also want to pack a few things for yourself.
- Snacks
- Camera
- Drinks
- Change of clothes
- Coins for parking
- Toiletries 

This will be one of the most amazing things you will probably ever experience. This post isn't meant to scare you away - it's meant to prepare you so you aren't in shock!

Am I In Labour?

Did you know there are three stages of labour?

Shall we discuss the first stage? This is known as the ''holy shit I think I am in labour'' stage, and you will probably need to head to the hospital soon. This can also be the LONGEST stage of birth.

The big question, is this labour for real? Or is it a false alarm? Well, here's how to tell (in no particular order);

Contractions! These can start as a backache/cramping feeling. I'd say it's the tricky one! It's hard to tell if you are actually going into labour or experiencing Braxton Hicks. I am one of the ''lucky'' women who experiences Braxton Hicks and actually feels them.. like really feels them.
Many women describe actual contractions as feeling like you are about to get your period. If you put your hand on your abdomen you will feel the tightening of the muscles in your womb getting harder, when the contraction eases, you will feel your abdomen soften, this is your body moving the baby down and opening your cervix in preparation for birth. You will also feel a lot of pressure, or like your organs might fall out of your bum.
If this is happening, grab a pen and paper and open up the stopwatch on your phone and start timing. You want to know how long each one goes for, the time between each one and how consistent they are. This will help you decipher if you are having real contractions or not. Braxton Hicks are VERY good at mimicking real contractions.
The difference between the two:
Braxton Hicks don't last longer over time (they last around 30 seconds to a minute)
They don't get closer together (they come at very irregular times - maybe once or twice a day)
They don't get stronger when you walk or move around (they generally stop when you change position)
You should call your doctor or midwife if;
You experience 4 or more contractions in an hour
If you experience any nausea or vomiting or loose bowel movements
If there's an increase in pressure in your pelvis or vagina
In saying all of that, if you are anything like me, the above won't mean much to you. I was on the phone to the doc, Braxton Hicks or not!

If your water breaks. The 'water' that we are talking about is the amniotic fluid your baby has been floating around in all these months. One thing I have learnt, your water breaking doesn't necessarily mean you are going feel like the Niagra Falls just fell out of your pants - although, this may actually happen to you.
Your water breaking might be a tiny trickle, or it might be a very slow leaking fluid, in fact - you might not even notice it at all! If you are worried about being embarrassed about this happening in public, keep a pad handy. I was also given the advice to sit on a plastic bag in my car, and get a little plastic sheet for sleeping (but really who could be bothered with that). Some women say they felt a ''pop'' before their water broke, and sometimes it can happen when you're already in hospital and your baby is already well on his/her way! This is definitely a tell sign that labour is happening soon.

The Bloody Show. Sounds absolutely delightful, doesn't it? This is also known as the mucus plug. Let's put it this way. If your vagina was a bottle of wine, this would be like popping the cork. The 'cork' has been the little blockage stopping any infection getting to your baby. The funny thing about the mucus plug is that you can lose it at any stage, and may not mean anything unless you feel contractions. Some women have lost their mucus plug weeks before they went into actual labour.
So, what is it and how do you tell what it is?
The bloody show is a sign that your cervix is softening to prepare itself for labour. The mucus plug itself is like a sticky discharge, it can be tinged with blood. It can be brown, pinkish or reddish in colour. Some women don't even notice it at all, you might do a quick wee, wipe and flush without ever knowing. If you happen to notice it, call your doctor and let them know.
Although, it's very important you contact your doctor immediately if it's accompanied by any of the below;
You are feeling contractions
You are feeling painful cramping
If there is any bright red bleeding
If your discharge increases more than normal
It happens before you are 36 weeks pregnant (to rule out preterm labour)

Thanks to the lovely Braxton Hicks contractions I have been feeling since Saturday night, it's safe to say a ''drug free labour'' is totally off the cards for me - honestly if real contractions are 100 times worse, I think I would pass out if I actually had to feel them.
If this is your first child, you won't know what contractions feel like (which I didn't), so we spent a little time in the hospital yesterday to rule out preterm labour. Turns out Braxton Hicks contractions can feel VERY feel, so if you happen to experience anything like what you think contractions might be - my advice would be to call your Ob, your midwife or your hospital and let them know what you are experiencing. You might think you have Braxton Hicks, but it might also be the real deal. Always better to be safe than sorry!

If you are feeling the real deal or have had any of the other signs - congratulations!!! You will most likely be meeting your little baby soon :) Could there be anything more exciting?!

Bonding With Your Bump

Maternity Leave has begun and I've really had a chance to bond with my bump and spend a lot of time imagining what it's going to be like when he arrives.
It was really hard in the beginning of the pregnancy to feel that 'connection' for me, mostly because I didn't show until I was about 7 months and it almost didn't feel real. I'm sure a lot of other people were wondering if it was real too, haha. If you are finding that you feel the same, I have some perfect ways for you and your partner to bond with your bump!

Talk to your belly. I talk to him like he's my best friend, like he's sitting on the couch next to me. I tell him about what I did during the day, what my thoughts are, what I'm excited about, what I see for him in the future, the holidays we are going to take, the fun things we are going to do together like decorating the house for Christmas and watching fireworks on New Years Eve. The more I talk to him, the more I feel a connection with what our lives will actually be like in the not too distant future. I can't even tell you how excited it makes me!

Singing! I sing to my belly every single day, there's a few songs that I have been singing since I found out that I was pregnant. I'm really excited to see if he reacts to them once he is born. We also play a lot of music, and a lot of different kinds of music. It's really nice to just sit in the chair in the nursery and play music, rub my belly and close my eyes. He kicks a lot when I do it, so I assume he likes it too. Either that or he is very particular already and he's telling me to skip to the next track!

Bring it down a notch! You are probably freaking out over the million things you want to do before you give birth, but you will be fine. Nesting will probably kick in soon and you might feel like you need to go go go. Make sure you take some time out every single day to just sit and relax, and think about how much of a blessing it is to have what you have in your life right now.

Get your partner involved. Have them rub your belly and talk to your belly. He/she can hear you, and loves to hear you. The one thing you have to remember is that your baby is now sensitive to light, to voices and he/she can feel you when you touch your belly. I love watching my husbands face when he gets a nice big kick!

Take photos and write in your diary! One of my favourite things is to look at photos of the ultrasounds, photos of my belly, or read my diary and really feel that connection and joy.

Write a letter to your future son/daughter. I haven't done this yet, but I do plan on it. I imagine giving it to him when he's a little older and watching him react to all the crazy things that I went through just to get him here. It will also help you to visualise what you want for him/her in the future and for their life.

Remember - if you feel like you haven't been bonding with your bump - don't worry. I promise they won't hold it against you. Try when you can, and if you are simply too busy running around with work and other children or just life in general, I have no doubt you will more than make up for it when he/she actually arrives, and he/she will know exactly how much you love them.

Pregnancy is almost over for me, and it's really nice to be able to take it all in and appreciate this special time.

Things No One Told Me!

So I'm nearing the end of my pregnancy now, and having a little moment of reminiscing about all the things that not a single person told me! Sometimes I think - women must forget? I thought pregnancy would be all roses and skipping through a garden under a rainbow.. I was so wrong. It's the craziest rollercoaster ride I've ever been on, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

I am 8 months pregnant now and these are a list of things I have realised throughout my journey so far:

It's actually possible for morning sickness to last all day and night. There is no point in calling it "morning sickness". I was pretty lucky and only had nausea for about 2 weeks right at the beginning of my pregnancy. But let me tell you, the women who have nausea throughout their entire pregnancy deserve ...I can't even think of anything good enough to give them for their efforts. They deserve something really amazing.

You never thought that knowing you are going to become a Mother could fill you with so much love and gratefulness, and make you feel so full. You are perfectly happy to sacrifice your body and anything else you need to, to make sure that the little thing growing inside you is safe and healthy.

You think about the baby around every....10 minutes. Sometimes even less, sometimes every 5 minutes. Sometimes every 30 seconds.

You are very misinformed if you think it is healthy to be ''eating for two'', it's a terrible excuse and probably worse for you and your baby than you realise. Really, you probably only need an extra 300-400 calories a day, but sometimes....you just have to indulge. Last night I read that someone ate a whole jar of Nutella in one go, when I told my husband he gave me the ''that's insane'' look...little did he know, I was eyeing off the jar in the pantry. Sorry not sorry.

When you feel your baby kick for the first time, it's okay to stop what ever you are doing and have a moment. I pulled over in the car and had a cry, and then a laugh, and then I called my husband and cried some more. It's probably the most amazing thing to feel. Then, the kicks get harder and your organs feel like they are being popped. And even still, you wouldn't change it.

I'm not glowing, it's sweat. Please stop.

Can you imagine a world where merely a whiff of deli meat or fish, or cigarette smoke can make you gag in public? I feel like I can smell EVERYTHING. I could tell you what you ate for dinner last night but it would be awkward. I can't tell you the amount of times I was walking through the supermarket and had to run from the aisle I was in, literally, run.

You get to a certain point where you don't walk normally anymore, it sort of turns into a strange waddle.

People will just touch your belly, and not the ''okay'' people like loved ones - I mean random people. Or they stare at my belly, and then slowly eye off my hand to see if I have a wedding ring on.

People will give you their opinion even if you don't ask for it. This includes strangers too. I found myself doing a lot of nodding and smiling, and then imagining strangling them while they were talking.

If I'm not freezing cold, I'm DYING from heat. There is no in between. Sorry to all the people in my office who had to deal with me turning off the heater every -100 degree morning.

If someone doesn't agree with you about something, anything - you may murder them. Literally. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T LIKE THIS PRAM???

It's actually impossible for me to be rational right now so I'm trying not to make any big decisions. Who would have thought choosing between grey or white sheets could make you want to sit on the ground and cry in the middle of a baby store?

No matter how hard I try, I genuinely can't control my emotions. I am currently writing a pregnancy diary so I can look back and apologise to my husband and family for all the crazy things that I have done. I'm already so sorry, but it doesn't stop me from doing the next pain in the ass thing.

There's a really long and strange in between period of looking like you did before you were pregnant, and actually looking pregnant. It doesn't really matter what you wear. You just look like you have eaten a lot of KFC and forgotten that the gym exists. People won't know if you are or if you aren't, and they are too afraid to ask.

You can actually bloat so much that you need help to stand up. By the time you hit around 34 weeks, you need help sitting up and standing up all the time anyway!

Buy lots of LONG tops so your belly doesn't hang out the bottom of your shirt at inappropriate times. Like at the end of a business meeting when you stand up to shake someone's hand and realise they can see everything. Oops!

Don't put all your thoughts into what's happening with your pregnancy, it doesn't last. What lasts is what happens AFTER - aka. being responsible for a human life. Do as much research as possible & get educated about giving birth and being a parent. All those pregnancy books that you thought people just read in the movies? Read them.

You get to wear sweats and leggings in public at all times and not be embarrassed. In fact, I don't even feel ashamed to wear slippers to the supermarket.

You think about what's going on inside your body and you are dumbfounded, you didn't realise how beautiful and magical it really is to be able to grow a human life.

You think you are still capable of doing all the things you did before you were pregnant. Like helping your parents move from your family home and try packing up 15 years of life. Do not attempt this!

As you go on, sleeping becomes worse and worse. In the beginning you could literally fall asleep ANYWHERE at any time. Even by accident. It's impossible to watch a movie on the couch. 15 hours straight and it's not enough. Then sleep becomes less. All of a sudden your hips are hurting, your back is hurting. You have restless legs that cramp up in the middle of the night and keep you awake. You have to use every ounce of your energy to slowly flip from your ride side to your left. You will never have enough pillows. You will get hot, cold, need to pee, need to drink water, need to eat. You will drive your significant other CRAZY (preparation perhaps?) and you will start to lose your mind because of it. Time no longer exists, it's just a weird routine of eating and napping.

Did you know your baby literally pees about a pint a day from a certain point? No wonder there's so much jiggling going on around there! That is a lot of pee.

You have a built in table which you can rest things on.

You don't know what you are going to feel like when you wake up. You might have a good day, you might have a bad day. You might have enough energy to climb Mount Everest or... you might not be able to bend down and put socks on. There's just no telling.

Fluid retention is scary. Like, poke your ankle and watch the dent slowly go back to normal scary. Your feet can also change an entire size! Mine luckily enough haven't, but if it happens to you - don't freak out.

You will google every single symptom you have, even if it's not that bad. If you haven't experienced a feeling or a pain before - your mind will probably think the worst straight away. Just ring your doctor or midwife and ask. Annoy them. I have.

Heartburn is literally the devil. Why should I have to fall asleep sitting up so I don't die? How is this fair??

You forget you have a belly and get stuck trying to pass small spaces you could normally fit through.

You will probably poo when you give birth. Don't worry, your doctor will be discreet. It's just poo, you should see the other stuff that's about to come out!

You can write a birth plan, but lets face it - it probably won't go to plan. I didn't need anyone to tell me this, I just knew, because my pregnancy has been so up and down it made me realise that whatever will be will be and we have absolutely no control over it. So make it easier for yourself, just let it be.

You might find that none of these crazy things happen to you and you have a perfect, pain free pregnancy (fingers crossed), this has been one of the best things (if not the best) to ever happen to me and no matter how much pain and emotional stress I have been through - it does not outweigh the excitement and love I feel for my soon to be born son.

Expect The Unexpected

Most people that know me know that my pregnancy definitely hasn't been easy. I guess all I can say is - you just never know what to expect as every pregnancy is different!

As a rather petite person I had always worried what a baby would do to my body. Yesterday, the freaked out look on my obstetricians face said it all.

Let's rewind a week, I had been feeling crampy and uncomfortable for quite some time, but thinking it was quite normal (because in most cases it is!). I was working as I normally do, and my routine was much of the same before I was pregnant.

On Thursday I felt very, very strange. A hot flush came over me suddenly, my eyes blurred and I saw stars. The most bizzare thing was that I wasn't even moving! I was sitting at my desk and then bam! There was no stopping it. Of course, it's only natural to question every single little thing that happens to you when it's your first pregnancy, so I quickly rang my OB & she told me to come in, which I did. I was then tested for pre-eclampsia. I'd never really heard of it before so it was all news to me. She explained that it can be quite dangerous for the baby and for myself. (another post on pre-eclampsia to come)

I didn't have ALL of the signs, but did have a few.
I went downstairs, had some blood tests and a urine test, and headed back to work. Thursday night I couldn't move - and by Friday I was done.

The weekend was quiet, I was enjoying my yummy lunch on Sunday with my family when I went to stand up. Who would of thought such a simple task would become such a disaster.

I felt something rip under my left rib - and quickly sat back down. I then tried again to get up, and couldn't move without help. Trying not to freak out, I went into the bedroom and thought - the little guy must be in a weird position, so let's try to move him. I tried to sit straight, nope, I tried to get down on all fours to wiggle him over, nope, tried to lay down on my side, nope, stand up, nope, tried a heat pack, nope, nothing seemed to be working. The only way to stop the pain was to stay in one position and not move, and definitely no breathing deep.. Every breath I took was like a stab to my body. 

This all happened at about 4pm, I tried to put up with the pain but at about 10.30pm at night .. It was time to go to the hospital.

It's a very confronting feeling when you realise you don't care about what happens to you, as long as your baby is okay. I guess that's one of the first things we learn about being a parent; it just comes so naturally that you care for them more than you do yourself. It's pretty amazing if you ask me.

Then came the bombardment of questions. Have you had any bleeding? Are you feeling what you think may be contractions? Are you on any medication? Is the baby moving? If I poke your stomach here, does it hurt? What about here? What about here..? Are you light headed? Have you noticed anything strange? Are you allergic to anything? Your stomach feels very firm, does it normally feel like this? 
I was so out of it I actually don't even remember what I told the nurse! 
After many tests and monitoring the baby's heartbeat for 20 minutes - we then waited.
What is it about hospitals and waiting that makes you so nervous and tense?

Finally, I was told by our obstetrician that our 'not so little' man had grown very quickly and was weeks ahead of what he should be. We knew he was a bigger baby already but assumed he would slow down a little, as it's very common to have a few growth spurts, and then a slow growth period where days catch up to weight. But no, not our son! 
Because of his quickly growing size and my petite frame - he had completely ripped the muscles on the left of my abdomen to shreds. 

So how do your muscles heal and recover from this when your baby is still growing?
They don't.

There is absolutely nothing I can do but try to manage the pain and not do anything strenuous.
No more work, no more shopping, no more crazy excerises, nada! Unlike a normal torn muscle that can rebuild and heal, there is no opportunity to do so, because our baby is still growing, the muscle will only continue to tear until I give birth.

Speaking of giving birth, now we know our dude is a lot bigger than he should be, and not only do I have an unbalanced pelvis but also a petite frame, we are going to have to look at delivering earlier, and most probably by a caesarian. I'm currently just over 33 weeks, and in two weeks we will be heading back to the hospital to make a decision. I am not fussed if I end up having a caesarean - to be honest, all I care about is knowing he is healthy and okay. I have no issue with having the decision made for me, I just want what's best for him. As I said, in pregnancy, expect the unexpected.

Bed rest has already proven to be quite boring & I don't know how much Foxtel I can watch - but it's all worth it in the end, right? I mean - look at that face!!!!! Not too long until we meet, and I can't wait!

What's In My Hospital Bag?

The day of birth is slowly creeping up on me, and I'm feeling overwhelmed with excitement, anxiety and nervousness. My hospital recently sent me a cute little package, with a list of things I should pack and bring with me to the hospital, so I thought I'd share them with you!

When do you pack? To be honest, it's entirely up to you. It may also depend on your pregnancy and your circumstances. You may have been told your baby could possibly come early, you may also want to pack earlier if you are having twins or you can leave it to the last minute if you are booked in for a caesarian.. just speak with your obstetrician/midwife to see what's best for you.
For a normal pregnancy, I'd say any time from 34 weeks is fine. But if it makes you feel more comfortable knowing that little bag is sitting in the corner ready for a quick pick up - then pack whenever you want!

Mums Bag:

Loose clothing for every day. Tshirts, button down shirts, trackies, whatever makes you comfortable. Go with darker colours, there may be some stains & leaks that you don't want to see.
Night gowns/button down pjs 3-4
Dressing Gown
Slippers/Thongs
Socks
Maternity Bras 1-2, even if you aren't planning on breastfeeding, you will be very tender after birth and these will help ease the pain
Granny Undies or Disposable Undies. I always overpack underwear, so I just say, bring them all! If you are having a caesarian, you may find high waisted cotton nickers to be much more comfortable as they won't rub your wound.
Toiletries Hairbrush, toothbrush, dental floss, toothpaste, shampoo & conditioner, makeup (if you're keen!), deodorant, moisturiser, makeup wipes, cleanser, cotton buds, hair ties and lip balm. Everything that makes you feel human again.
Nursing Pads
Maternity Pads
Baby wipes These will help you to feel a little more fresh if you can't get up to have a shower just yet
Nipple Cream Hot/Cold Gel Packs & Witch Hazel Pads
Any Medications/Glasses
Medicare Card
Health Fund Card - health insurance details
Blood Group Card
ID & hospital paper work
Mobile Phone Charger
Snacks! (fibre rich) (as if I would pack a bag without food?)
SRC recovery shorts (unless you are having a c-section)
Certificate of Installation for car seat
Notepad & pen - and squeeze out all the information you can from the nurses to write down!
Camera
Baby book

Baby Bag:
Six/Eight onesies/sleepsuits
Six/Eight cotton singlets
Muslin Cloths/Swaddles

Two/Four pairs mittens and booties
Two/Four beanies/hats
Baby bath soap
Baby wipes
Baby Blanket
Nappies (check to see if your hospital supplies them)
Pacifier

For twins - increase everything by half.

Alternatively - a great baby shower gift or gift to yourself is the Bundle Bags!

These are amazing pre-packed maternity bags for Mum and for baby. They are 100% certified organic, and really beautiful.