Gender!

Finding out the sex is something only you (and your partner) can decide whether you want to do or not. Don't let people convince you to do it, if you want a surprise on the day you give birth- good for you! And if you are determined to know - that's great too. The decision is completely yours!

These are reasons I chose to find out the sex of our baby.
1. I am clearly (in case you haven't noticed from previous posts) an over organised control freak. The anxiety of not knowing whether I am having a son or a daughter would have been enough to cripple me. I may not be able to control how my pregnancy goes, how my body changes, how my labour goes - but I can certainly control this, and give myself a little calmness and preparation time.
2. I like to shop, I like to buy clothes & shoes..in advance. Waaaay in advance. The robes may already be stocked For Summer 2016. Yes. I am excited.
3. I wanted to give my husband something to know & look forward to. I can only imagine how hard it is to be the waiting father, we experience everything.. all the kicks & changes for 9 months so intimately, whilst they only know what's happening because we tell them.
I know my husband was hoping for a boy (not that it would have mattered to him either way), he probably wouldn't even admit it out loud, but I think his reaction when we found out said it all. So it was nice to be able to give him some things to think about and look forward to as well.
4. The baby was a surprise enough, I wasn't going to wait to find out the sex.. too many surprises for me!
5. I needed to prepare myself for the unknown if I found out I was having a boy (eg. knowing to put his little ''peanut'' down when putting a nappy on so wee doesn't soak everything)... research, research, research! I know girls, I understand them, but boys are a different story. I needed to know the little secrets & things to understand for when he comes along!

So the hard part that not many women/men talk about is.. How do you deal with disappointment if you find out you're having a girl when you wanted a boy and visa versa?

Now, now ladies. Don't judge. I know everyone will turn around and say ''It doesn't matter as long as the baby is healthy!'', which is totally true. But it's also okay to feel a little disappointed if you really had your heart set on one sex or the other. You may not even be able to help these feelings, you might not even have known you were hoping for a particular sex until you found out.
You might feel like you know how to handle girls better (being one yourself) rather than boys, you might find girls too hard to handle (maybe you were a terror?), you might have a lot of hand-me-downs that will need to find a new home but might also put you under stress financially, you might just want to have a boy because you love to play sports and kick a footy and maybe fear that a girl won't be into this? You might have had visions your whole life of being a Mum and having a child which was a particular sex - and now this has all changed, and all your visions have disappeared.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with feeling these things. Don't be ashamed, it's okay.

So how do you get over it?

Dealing with the guilt can be very hard. You probably are tucking it in deep, deep down with the other feelings in the ''no go zone''. You also might feel like you might not be a good mother because you may not be prepared, if you have been dreaming about having a little boy your entire life and suddenly everything you imagined is now gone, it's quickly replaced with feelings of anxiety and unknown.

My advice? Talk about it with someone. Someone who won't judge you. A family member, husband, or best friend. You need to realise it's out of your control. Understand that it's not the baby you feel guilty about or your pregnancy, it's the feeling like you lost something you really wanted.

Your baby will bring you so much happiness & joy, you probably won't even remember the disappointment you once felt once he/she arrives. It will be a distant memory once you have given birth and you are looking into the eyes of your little bundle. They will have their own personality, you can't predict what they will be like. Maybe you will have a girl who loves to go to the football or a boy who wants to dance ballet? Enjoy getting to know your little one as they grow.

If you feel like you are having a really hard time getting over it, talk to someone. Get your feelings out there and heal.