Things No One Told Me!

So I'm nearing the end of my pregnancy now, and having a little moment of reminiscing about all the things that not a single person told me! Sometimes I think - women must forget? I thought pregnancy would be all roses and skipping through a garden under a rainbow.. I was so wrong. It's the craziest rollercoaster ride I've ever been on, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

I am 8 months pregnant now and these are a list of things I have realised throughout my journey so far:

It's actually possible for morning sickness to last all day and night. There is no point in calling it "morning sickness". I was pretty lucky and only had nausea for about 2 weeks right at the beginning of my pregnancy. But let me tell you, the women who have nausea throughout their entire pregnancy deserve ...I can't even think of anything good enough to give them for their efforts. They deserve something really amazing.

You never thought that knowing you are going to become a Mother could fill you with so much love and gratefulness, and make you feel so full. You are perfectly happy to sacrifice your body and anything else you need to, to make sure that the little thing growing inside you is safe and healthy.

You think about the baby around every....10 minutes. Sometimes even less, sometimes every 5 minutes. Sometimes every 30 seconds.

You are very misinformed if you think it is healthy to be ''eating for two'', it's a terrible excuse and probably worse for you and your baby than you realise. Really, you probably only need an extra 300-400 calories a day, but sometimes....you just have to indulge. Last night I read that someone ate a whole jar of Nutella in one go, when I told my husband he gave me the ''that's insane'' look...little did he know, I was eyeing off the jar in the pantry. Sorry not sorry.

When you feel your baby kick for the first time, it's okay to stop what ever you are doing and have a moment. I pulled over in the car and had a cry, and then a laugh, and then I called my husband and cried some more. It's probably the most amazing thing to feel. Then, the kicks get harder and your organs feel like they are being popped. And even still, you wouldn't change it.

I'm not glowing, it's sweat. Please stop.

Can you imagine a world where merely a whiff of deli meat or fish, or cigarette smoke can make you gag in public? I feel like I can smell EVERYTHING. I could tell you what you ate for dinner last night but it would be awkward. I can't tell you the amount of times I was walking through the supermarket and had to run from the aisle I was in, literally, run.

You get to a certain point where you don't walk normally anymore, it sort of turns into a strange waddle.

People will just touch your belly, and not the ''okay'' people like loved ones - I mean random people. Or they stare at my belly, and then slowly eye off my hand to see if I have a wedding ring on.

People will give you their opinion even if you don't ask for it. This includes strangers too. I found myself doing a lot of nodding and smiling, and then imagining strangling them while they were talking.

If I'm not freezing cold, I'm DYING from heat. There is no in between. Sorry to all the people in my office who had to deal with me turning off the heater every -100 degree morning.

If someone doesn't agree with you about something, anything - you may murder them. Literally. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T LIKE THIS PRAM???

It's actually impossible for me to be rational right now so I'm trying not to make any big decisions. Who would have thought choosing between grey or white sheets could make you want to sit on the ground and cry in the middle of a baby store?

No matter how hard I try, I genuinely can't control my emotions. I am currently writing a pregnancy diary so I can look back and apologise to my husband and family for all the crazy things that I have done. I'm already so sorry, but it doesn't stop me from doing the next pain in the ass thing.

There's a really long and strange in between period of looking like you did before you were pregnant, and actually looking pregnant. It doesn't really matter what you wear. You just look like you have eaten a lot of KFC and forgotten that the gym exists. People won't know if you are or if you aren't, and they are too afraid to ask.

You can actually bloat so much that you need help to stand up. By the time you hit around 34 weeks, you need help sitting up and standing up all the time anyway!

Buy lots of LONG tops so your belly doesn't hang out the bottom of your shirt at inappropriate times. Like at the end of a business meeting when you stand up to shake someone's hand and realise they can see everything. Oops!

Don't put all your thoughts into what's happening with your pregnancy, it doesn't last. What lasts is what happens AFTER - aka. being responsible for a human life. Do as much research as possible & get educated about giving birth and being a parent. All those pregnancy books that you thought people just read in the movies? Read them.

You get to wear sweats and leggings in public at all times and not be embarrassed. In fact, I don't even feel ashamed to wear slippers to the supermarket.

You think about what's going on inside your body and you are dumbfounded, you didn't realise how beautiful and magical it really is to be able to grow a human life.

You think you are still capable of doing all the things you did before you were pregnant. Like helping your parents move from your family home and try packing up 15 years of life. Do not attempt this!

As you go on, sleeping becomes worse and worse. In the beginning you could literally fall asleep ANYWHERE at any time. Even by accident. It's impossible to watch a movie on the couch. 15 hours straight and it's not enough. Then sleep becomes less. All of a sudden your hips are hurting, your back is hurting. You have restless legs that cramp up in the middle of the night and keep you awake. You have to use every ounce of your energy to slowly flip from your ride side to your left. You will never have enough pillows. You will get hot, cold, need to pee, need to drink water, need to eat. You will drive your significant other CRAZY (preparation perhaps?) and you will start to lose your mind because of it. Time no longer exists, it's just a weird routine of eating and napping.

Did you know your baby literally pees about a pint a day from a certain point? No wonder there's so much jiggling going on around there! That is a lot of pee.

You have a built in table which you can rest things on.

You don't know what you are going to feel like when you wake up. You might have a good day, you might have a bad day. You might have enough energy to climb Mount Everest or... you might not be able to bend down and put socks on. There's just no telling.

Fluid retention is scary. Like, poke your ankle and watch the dent slowly go back to normal scary. Your feet can also change an entire size! Mine luckily enough haven't, but if it happens to you - don't freak out.

You will google every single symptom you have, even if it's not that bad. If you haven't experienced a feeling or a pain before - your mind will probably think the worst straight away. Just ring your doctor or midwife and ask. Annoy them. I have.

Heartburn is literally the devil. Why should I have to fall asleep sitting up so I don't die? How is this fair??

You forget you have a belly and get stuck trying to pass small spaces you could normally fit through.

You will probably poo when you give birth. Don't worry, your doctor will be discreet. It's just poo, you should see the other stuff that's about to come out!

You can write a birth plan, but lets face it - it probably won't go to plan. I didn't need anyone to tell me this, I just knew, because my pregnancy has been so up and down it made me realise that whatever will be will be and we have absolutely no control over it. So make it easier for yourself, just let it be.

You might find that none of these crazy things happen to you and you have a perfect, pain free pregnancy (fingers crossed), this has been one of the best things (if not the best) to ever happen to me and no matter how much pain and emotional stress I have been through - it does not outweigh the excitement and love I feel for my soon to be born son.