Tips For Expectant Dads

Congratulations! You are going to be a Dad!!

If your partner is currently pregnant, you are probably going through some big changes yourself. This is definitely a very exciting and beautiful time, but it also may be putting a little strain on your relationship. This is no ones fault, it's all a part of pregnancy and parenting.

Your parter is producing A LOT of hormones, and it may be changing her personality in little or big ways without her even realising.. and you might be at a loss of what to do to help. Google is now your friend. No doubt you are searching things like ''how can I assist my pregnant wife with dealing with body changes'', ''what is a midwife'', ''what cheese is safe to eat'', ''why is she being so crazy''.....

I lose my temper very easily (even without being pregnant), I am very impatient and can be quite snappy at the best of times. Increase that by 10,000 - and you are dealing with ''Pregnant Nicole". I can hear myself talking sometimes and think, ''Did I actually just say that? I sound like a psychopath!''. But I know it's not really me... just like my husband understands that I don't mean the things I say in the heat of the moment.

• So first of all, remember that communication is very important. If there's anything you feel, talk to her about it. As she should be talking to you. You both should be comfortable enough to speak openly about everything that's on your mind. It's so important for your relationship that you are on the same level, and both happy with where you are at & where you are heading.

• Remember that this is your child too & your opinion is important!

• Just say sorry. Even if she's in the wrong. Which she probably is. It's honestly not worth arguing over silly things, she is not being rational and she will forget everything that just happened in about it in two minutes if you apologise and give her a hug - thanks hormones!

• Your partner really needs your support, just holding her hand & telling her you have her back will mean the world to her. Unfortunately, it's very likely that there is personality disorder happening. Not only is she afraid of all these changes happening to her, she is also afraid of becoming a first time Mum (as you probably are about becoming a first time Dad), and stress can make a bright situation dark at times. Remind her how amazing she is going to be, which she will be. The unknown is very scary, she needs to know she is not alone in this. Be her rock.

• Understand that your microwave is going to be defrosting a lot of meals.

• Care for her. Your partner is seriously uncomfortable. Her feet are swollen, her lower back feels like it's about to snap and her skin itches & stretches like you would not believe - give her a little massage & heat up her wheat bag. She would do it for you! 

• Make an effort to be a part of the pregnancy. Yes.. that means reading those pregnancy books. It will benefit you more than it will her. You will probably learn a lot on what to do after your child arrives, as well as what your role will be like during labour, and all types of medical terms like ''breech, epidural, mucus plug, crowning etc...''. You will feel comfortable knowing these things when your partner is going into labour.

• Be present, because you care. Get involved with the appointments and the classes. There's honestly nothing like seeing a 3D ultrasound of the little life you created & hearing that heart beat.

• Speak to her belly. Whenever my husband puts his face near my belly & tells our baby about his day, the baby kicks like mad. I feel this weird sense that he must recognise him & know it's his Dad, and it's really beautiful to feel. 

• No, having intercourse won't hurt the baby. 

• Spend one on one time together, you need love as much as she does. Go to the movies, go out to dinner, cuddle on the couch. Give each other your undivided attention, because when the little one arrives, your attention will shift completely. Make sure you both make an effort to make the other person feel loved & wanted, before birth and after.

• Ignore the gross things that happen. There will be a lot of them, just pretend you didn't see or hear anything.

• Be on top of your finances, as well as hers & keep things running smoothly. 

You will be fine! I promise! This is all about team work & both of you doing everything you can to keep your relationship on track.